Andorra

A Play in Twelve Scenes

translated by

Michael Bullock

                        I

Outside an Andorran house. Barblin is whitewashing the high, narrow wall with a brush on a long stick. An Andorran soldier in olive-grey is leaning against the wall.

BARBLIN      If you could take your eyes off my legs for a minute you could see what I’m doing. I’m whitewashing. Because tomorrow is St George’s Day, in case you’ve forgotten. I’m whitewashing my father’s house. And what do you soldiers do? You just hang about the streets with your thumbs in your belts, squinting into our blouses when we bend down.

The Soldier laughs.

Anyway, I’m engaged.

SOLDIER       Engaged!

BARBLIN      What are you laughing at?

SOLDIER       Is he pigeon-chested?

BARBLIN      Why should he be?

SOLDIER       Because you never let us see him.

BARBLIN      Leave me alone!

SOLDIER       Or flat-footed?

BARBLIN      Why should he be flat-footed?

SOLDIER       Anyhow, he doesn’t dance with you.

                        Barblin whitewashes.

Perhaps he’s an angel!

                        The Soldier laughs.

That’s why I’ve never seen hun.

BARBLIN      I’m engaged!

SOLDIER       Well, I don’t see any ring.

BARBLIN      I’m engaged.

                        She dips the brush in the bucket.

And anyway - I don’t like you.

On the forestage right stands a juke box, by which - as Barblin whitewashes - there appear the Carpenter, a corpulent man, and behind him Andri as a kitchen-boy.

CARPENTER Where’s my stick?

ANDRI              Here, sir.

CARPENTER A bloody nuisance, these tips all the time. No sooner have you taken your hand out of your pocket —

                                    Andri gives him his stick and receives a tip which he drops into the juke box so that music starts up, while the Carpenter walks across the front of the stage, forcing Barblin to move her bucket out of his way. Andri dries a plate, moving in time to the music, and then goes out as the music stops.

BARBLIN      Are you still there?

SOLDIER       I’m on leave.

BARBLIN      What else do you want to know?

SOLDIER       Who is your fiancée supposed to be?

                        Barblin whitewashes.

They’re all whitewashing their father’s houses, because tomorrow is St George’s Day, and the coal-sack is tearing around on his bicycle. Whitewash, you virgins, whitewash your father’s houses, so that we have a white Andorra, you virgins, a snow-white Andorra!

BARBLIN      The coal-sack — who on earth is that?

SOLDIER       Are you a virgin?

                        The Soldier laughs.

So you don’t like me.

BARBLIN      No.

SOLDIER       A lot of women have told me that, but I’ve had them just

                        the same, if I liked their legs and their hair.

                        Barblin puts out her tongue at him.

And their red tongue too!

                        The Soldier takes out a cigarette and looks up at the house.

Which is your room?

                        Enter a Priest pushing a bicycle.

PRIEST           That’s how I like to see it, Barblin, that’s how I like to see it. We shall have a white Andorra, you virgins, a snow-white Andorra, so long as there isn’t a cloudburst during the night.

                        The Soldier laughs.

Is your father at home?

SOLDIER       So long as there isn’t a cloudburst during the night! The

fact is, his church isn’t as white as he pretends, we know that now; his church is also only made of earth, and the earth is red, and when there’s a cloudburst it washes off the whitewash and leaves a mess as if a pig had been slaughtered on it, and there’s nothing left of your snow-white church.

The Soldier stretches out his hand to see if it is raining.

So long as there isn’t a cloudburst during the night!

The Soldier laughs and strolls away.

PRIEST           What was he doing here?

BARBLIN      Is it true, Father, what people say? They’ll attack us, the Blacks across the frontier, because they’re jealous of our white houses. Early one morning they’ll come with a thousand black tanks, and they’ll roll in all direc­tions over our fields, and they’ll drop from the sky with parachutes like grey locusts.

PRIEST           Who says that?

BARBLIN      Peider, the soldier.

                        Barblin dips her brush in the bucket.

Father isn’t at home.

PRIEST           I might have guessed.

Why has he been drinking so much lately? And then he swears at everyone. He forgets who he is. Why does he always talk such rubbish?

BARBLIN      I don’t know what Father says in the inn.

PRIEST           He sees ghosts. Wasn’t everyone in this country horri­fied about the Blacks across the frontier when they be­haved like Herod during the Massacre of the Innocents?  Didn’t they collect clothes for the refugees? Now he’s saying we’re no better than the Blacks. Why does be keep saying that all the time? People take offence and I’m not surprised. A teacher shouldn’t talk like that. And why does he believe every rumour that gets about in the inn? Pause.

Nobody is persecuting your Andri -

                        Barblin stops and listens.

- nobody has yet hurt a hair of your Andri’s head.

                        Barblin goes on whitewashing.

I see you take your work seriously, you’re not a child any more, you work like a grown-up girl.

BARBLIN      I’m nineteen.

PRIEST           And not engaged yet?

Barblin says nothing.

I hope that Peider doesn’t have any luck with you.

BARBLIN      No.

PRIEST           He has dirty eyes.

                        Pause.

Did he frighten you? To make himself important. Why should they attack us? Our valleys are narrow, our fields are stony and steep, our olives are no juicier than else­where. What should they want from us? Anyone who wants our rye must reap it with the sickle, must bend down and cut it step by step. Andorra is a beautiful coun­try, but a poor country. A peaceful country, a weak country - a pious country, so long as we fear God, and we do fear Him, my child, don’t we?

BARBLIN      And suppose they come all the same?

A vesper bell, brief and monotonous.

PRIEST           We shall see one another tomorrow, Barblin. Tell your

father St. George doesn’t want to see him drunk.

The Priest mounts his bicycle.

On second thoughts, don’t tell him anything, it will only irritate him, but keep an eye on him.

The Priest rides silently away.

BARBLIN      And suppose they come all the same, Father?

Front stage, right, by the juke box. The Somebody appears with Andri behind him as a kitchen-boy.

SOMEBODY  Where’s my hat?

ANDRI            Here, sir.

SOMEBODY  A heavy evening, I think there’s a storm in the air...

Andri gives him his hat and receives a tip, which he drops into the juke box; he doesn’t press the button, however, but only whistles and studies the record selector, while the Some­body walks across the front of the stage and comes to a stop before Barblin, who is whitewashing and hasn’t noticed that the Priest has cycled away.

BARBLIN      Is it true, Father, what people say? They say: When the Blacks come everyone who is a Jew will be taken away. He will be tied to a stake, they say, and shot in the back of the neck. Is that true or is it a rumour? And if he has a sweetheart she will have her head shaved, they say, like a mangy dog.

SOMEBODY  That’s a nice way to talk!

BARBLIN      turns round and starts with fright.

SOMEBODY Good evening.

BARBLIN      Good evening.

SOMEBODY  A fine evening today.

BARBLIN      takes the bucket.

SOMEBODY  But heavy.

BARBLIN      Yes.

SOMEBODY  There’s something in the air.

BARBLIN      What do you mean by that?

SOMEBODY  A storm. Everything is waiting for wind, the leaves and the dust and the curtains.  And yet I can’t see a cloud  in the sky, but you can feel it. Such a hot stillness.  The gnats can feel it too. Such a dry and stagnant heat. I think there’s a storm in the air, a violent storm, it will do the land good...

Barblin goes indoors, the Somebody saunters on, Andri sets the juke-box going, the same record as before, and leaves drying a plate. The square of Andorra is seen. The Carpenter and the Teacher are sitting outside the inn. The music has stopped.

TEACHER     Prader, it’s my son I’m talking about.

CARPENTER I said, fifty pounds.

TEACHER     My foster-son, I mean.

CARPENTER I still say, fifty pounds.

                        The Carpenter bangs on the table with a coin.

I must go.

The Carpenter bangs again.

Why does he want to be a carpenter of all things? It isn’t easy to become a carpenter, you know, if it’s not in your blood. And how could it be in his blood? You know what I mean. Why doesn’t he become a stockbroker?

Why don’t you put him on the Stock Exchange? You know what I mean...

TEACHER     Prader, how did that stake get there?

CARPENTER What are you talking about?

TEACHER     Look, there!

CARPENTER Are you feeling all right?

TEACHER     I’m talking about a stake!

CARPENTER I can’t see any stake.

TEACHER     There!

The Carpenter has to turn round.

Is that a stake or isn’t it?

CARPENTER Why shouldn’t it be a stake?

TEACHER     It wasn’t there yesterday.

The Carpenter laughs.

Don’t laugh, Prader, you know exactly what I mean.

CARPENTER You’re seeing ghosts.

TEACHER     What’s it there for?

CARPENTER bangs on the table with a coin.

TEACHER     I’m not drunk. I can see it, you can all see it.

CARPENTER I must go.

The Carpenter throws a coin on the table and stands up.

I’ve told you: Fifty pounds.

TEACHER     Is that your last word?

CARPENTER My name is Prader.

TEACHER     Fifty pounds?

CARPENTER I don’t haggle.

TEACHER     Oh no, you’re above that sort of thing, we all know that... Prader, that’s extortion, fifty pounds for a carpenter’s apprenticeship, that’s extortion. It’s ridiculous, Prader, and you know it. I’m just an ordinary schoolmaster, liv­ing on a schoolmaster’s salary, not a master carpenter - I haven’t got fifty pounds, quite simply, I haven’t got it!

CARPENTER Then there’s no more to be said.

TEACHER     Look, Prader -

CARPENTER I said, fifty pounds.

                        The Carpenter goes.

TEACHER     Some day I’ll tell them the truth - the bastards! I’ll make

them see themselves as they really are, that’ll wipe the grins off their faces.

                        Enter the Innkeeper.

INNKEEPER What’s the matter?

TEACHER     I need a brandy.

INNKEEPER Trouble?

TEACHER     Fifty pounds for a carpenter’s apprenticeship!

INNKEEPER I heard him.

TEACHER     I shall scrape it together.

                        The Teacher laughs.

If it isn’t in your blood!

                        The Innkeeper wipes the table with a cloth.

They’ll find out what their own blood is like.

INNKEEPER It’s no good getting angry with your own people, it up­sets you and doesn’t change them. Of course it’s extor­tion! The Andorrans are easy-going people, but, as I’ve always said, when it’s a question of money, they’re like the Jews.

                        The Innkeeper turns to go.

TEACHER     How do you know what a Jew is like?

INNKEEPER Listen—

TEACHER     How do you know?

INNKEEPER  -I have nothing against your Andri. What do you think I am? Otherwise I shouldn’t have taken him on as a kitchen-boy. What are you looking at me like that for? Anyone will bear me out. Haven’t I always said, Andri is an exception?

TEACHER     I’m not going to discuss it!

INNKEEPER  A real exception —

The tolling of bells.

TEACHER     Who put that stake there?

INNKEEPER What stake?

TEACHER     I’m not always drunk, as the Reverend Father thinks.

A stake is a stake. Somebody put it there. It wasn’t there yesterday. A stake doesn’t just grow up out of the ground, does it?

INNKEEPER I don’t know.

TEACHER     What’s it there for?

INNKEEPER I don*t know, perhaps the surveyor*s department, some-

                        ­thing  to do with  the  roads  perhaps,  they*ve got to do

                        something with the taxes,  maybe a  by-pass,  you never

                        know, maybe the drains -

TEACHER     Maybe.

INNKEEPER  Or the telephone -

TEACHER     And maybe not.

INNKEEPER  What*s eating you?

TEACHER     And what*s the rope for?

INNKEEPER  How should I know?

TEACHER     I*m not mad, I*m not seeing ghosts, what I see is a stake

                        that could be used for all sorts of things -

INNKEEPER  What of it?

The Innkeeper goes into the inn. The Teacher is alone. More pealing of bells. The Priest hurries across the square in a chasuble followed by the little servers, whose censers leave a powerful smell of incense behind. The Innkeeper comes with the brandy.

INNKEEPER  He wants fifty pounds, does he?

TEACHER     I shall scrape it together.

INNKEEPER  How?

TEACHER     Somehow.

                        The Teacher drinks the brandy.

                        Sell land.

                        The Innkeeper sits down with the Teacher.

                        Somehow...

INNKEEPER  How much land have you?

TEACHER     Why?

INNKEEPER  I*m always ready to buy land.  If it*s not too expensive!

I mean, if you*ve got to raise money.

                        Noise outside the inn.

I*m coming!

The Innkeeper seizes the Teacher*s arm.

Think it over,  Can,  in peace and quiet,  but I can*t pay

                        more than fifty pounds-

                        The Innkeeper goes.

TEACHER     ‘The  Andorrans are easy-going people,  but when it*s a

                        question of money they*re like the Jews.*

The Teacher puts the empty glass to his lips again, while Barblin, dressed for the procession, appears beside him.

BARBLIN      Father!

TEACHER     Why aren*t you in the procession?

BARBLIN      Father, you promised not to drink on St George*s Day -

TEACHER     lays a coin on the table.

BARBLIN      They*re coming past here.

TEACHER     Fifty pounds for a carpenter*s apprenticeship!

Now loud, high-pitched singing is heard, and the ringing of bells. The procession passes in the background. Barblin kneels down, the Teacher remains seated. People have gathered in the square. They all kneel down and above the heads of the kneeling people appear flags; the Virgin Mary is carried past accompanied by fixed bayonets. All cross themselves; the Teacher stands up and goes into the inn. The pro­cession is slow and long and beautiful; the high-pitched singing is lost in the distance, the ringing of bells remains. Andri comes out of the inn, while the people in the square join the end of the procession; he stands on one side and whispers:

ANDRI            Barblin!

BARBLIN      crosses herself.

ANDRI            Can*t you hear me?

BARBLIN      stands up.

ANDRI            Barblin?

BARBLIN      What is it?

ANDRI            I*m going to be a carpenter!

                        Barblin tags on to the end of the procession; Andri is left

                        alone.

The sun is shining green in the trees today. Today the

                        bells are ringing for me too.

                        He takes off his apron.

I  shall  always  remember this  happiness.  And  yet  I*m

                        only taking off my apron.  It*s so quiet.  I should like to

                        throw  my name in  the air  like a cap,  and yet  I*m only

                        standing  here rolling  up  my  apron.  This  is happiness.

                        I  shall  never   forget  the   way  I   stood  here  today...

                        Uproar from the inn.

                        Barblin, we shall marry!

                        Andri goes.

INNKEEPER  Get out!   He*s completely canned, then he always talks

                        such rubbish. Get out!

                        The Soldier staggers out with the drum.

You*re not having another drop.

SOLDIER       I*m a soldier.

INNKEEPER  We can see that.

SOLDIER       My name is Peider.

INNKEEPER  We know that.

SOLDIER       Well then.

INNKEEPER  Stop making such a row!

SOLDIER       Where is she?

INNKEEPER  There*s no sense in it, Peider. If a girl*s willing she*s willing, if she isn*t, she isn*t.   Shut up.   Put your drumsticks away! You*re tight. Think of the reputation of the Army!

                        The Innkeeper goes back inside the inn.

SOLDIER       Gutless bastards! They*re not worth my fighting for. But

                        I shall fight. Don*t you worry. To the last man, don*t you

                        worry, rather dead than a slave, so I*m telling you: Watch

                        out - I*m a soldier and I*ve got my eye on her...

                        Enter Andri, putting on his jacket.

                        Where is she?

ANDRI            Who?

SOLDIER       Your sister.

ANDRI            I haven*t got a sister.

SOLDIER       I said: Where is she?

ANDRI            Why?

SOLDIER       I’m off duty and I fancy her, that*s why...

Andri has put on his jacket and tries to walk on; the Soldier sticks out his leg so that Andri trips up; the Soldier laughs.

                        A soldier isn*t a scarecrow. Got that? Walking past as if

I wasn*t here. I*m a soldier, and you*re a Jew.

                        Andri stands up without speaking.

                                    You are a Jew, aren*t you?

                        Andri says nothing.

                        But  you*re  lucky,  damned  lucky,  not  every Jew is as

                        lucky as you are - you*ve got the chance to make your-

                                    self popular.

                        Andri brushes the dust from his trousers.

Did you hear what I said? I said you can make yourself

                        popular.

ANDRI            Who with?

SOLDIER       With the Army.

ANDRI            You stink.

SOLDIER       What did you say?

ANDRI            Nothing. Nothing.

SOLDIER       I stink?

ANDRI            At seven paces and against the wind.

SOLDIER       Take care what you say.

                        The Soldier tries to smell his own breath.

I can*t smell anything.

                        Andri laughs.

It*s no  laughing  matter  being a  Jew,  it*s  no  laughing

                        matter, a Jew has to make himself popular.           

ANDRI            Why?

SOLDIER       bawls:

‘When a man*s in love,

                                    And when a man*s a soldier,

                                    It*s on the floor

                                    And shut the door

                                    And take your knickers off, girl-*

                        Stop staring at me as if you were a gentleman!

                                    ‘When a man*s in love,

                                    And when a man*s a soldier.*

ANDRI            Can I go now?

SOLDIER       Gentleman!

ANDRI            I*m not a gentleman.

SOLDIER       All right, then kitchen-boy.

ANDRI            Ex-kitchen boy.

SOLDIER       They wouldn*t have your sort in the Army.

ANDRI            Do you know what that is?

SOLDIER       Money?

ANDRI            My wages. I*m going to be a carpenter now.

SOLDIER       Doesn*t it make you sick!

ANDRI            What do you mean?

SOLDIER       I said, doesn*t it make you sick.

                        The Soldier knocks the money out of his hand and laughs.

There!

                                    Andri stares at the Soldier.

                                    You Jews think of nothing but money all the time.

Andri controls himself with difficulty, then bends down and picks up the money from the pavement.

So you don*t want to make yourself popular?

ANDRI            No.

SOLDIER       You*re sure?

ANDRI            Yes.

SOLDIER       And we*re supposed to fight for people like you? To the

                        last man  -  do you know what that means, one battalion

                        against twelve battalions, that*s how it works out, rather

                        dead than a slave, that*s for sure, but not for you!

ANDRI            What*s for sure?

SOLDIER       Andorrans  aren*t cowards.   Let  them  come  with their

                        parachutes like the locusts from the sky,  they won*t get

                        through, as true as my name is Peider, not past me. That*s

                        for sure. Not past me. They*ll get the shock of their lives.

ANDRI            Who will get the shock of their lives?

SOLDIER