You Know You've Been in Band Too Long...

  1. When an "armed guard" means a girl with a flag, not a guy with a gun.
  2. When you don't remember your boy/girlfriend's birthday but remember everything from the opener of your freshman year.
  3. When every time you drive by somewhere, you remember a band competition.
  4. When you hear music and start marking time.
  5. When you walk in step with the person in front of you.
  6. When all of your friends are in band.
  7. When you try to guess the tempo of your favorite song.
  8. When you don't mind changing clothes on a bus.
  9. When you point out key changes and dynamics while listening to the radio.
  10. When you like wearing your uniform.
  11. When every girl/guy you are interested in is in band.
  12. When people ask about your social life and you respond: "Oh, you mean marching band?"
  13. When you consider your drill book a fashion accessory.
  14. When you practice your instrument more than talking to your family.
  15. When you remember every fast food place around a competition.
  16. When being mauled by a drummer is an everyday part of life.
  17. When people worry when they see you without your instrument.
  18. When band camp is FUN!
  19. When you remember flats and sharps more than your own name.
  20. When you dress to the lunch line.
  21. When you urge other people to dress to the lunch line.
  22. When your instrument has a name.
  23. When everyone wants to kill the other football team.... and you want to kill the other band.
  24. When making a line is your biggest accomplishment of the day.
  25. When marching backward starts to remind you of ballet.
  26. When you like to polish your shoes.
  27. When your uniform fits.
  28. When plume feathers become a fashion "do."
  29. When you see your section more than your own family.
  30. When the most popular people you know are the field commanders.
  31. When you think evening practices should last a half-hour longer.
  32. When you accidentally call your band director "Dad."
  33. When you CAN sight read.
  34. When reeds taste good.
  35. When you can put your uniform on in less than 10 minutes.
  36. When you think your plume is alive.
  37. When marking time is your favorite form of exercise.
  38. When you have a neck strap/harness tan line.
  39. When numbers past 8 aren't important.
  40. When you roll step through the cafeteria so you won't spill your lunch.
  41. When you'd rather practice than read this list.
  42. When letters past "G" aren't important.
  43. When you don't try to hide the fact that you are in band.
  44. When you root for the other football team to lessen the time of your season.
  45. When you subconsciously start humming your music.
  46. When you know not only your part, but everyone else's too.
  47. When you eat lunch with all the other band people.
  48. When you start to eat lunch in the band room.
  49. When wide open spaces stir up an urge to march your show.
  50. When you resort to humming your show music to get to sleep.
  51. When your friends who aren't in marching band create a group called the "non-marchers."
  52. When you have two instruments--a junky one for marching band and a good one for concert band.
  53. When you can't go out on weekends.
  54. When you don't see your parents on the weekends.
  55. When drummers actually start to make sense.
  56. When you wear your band shirt in public.
  57. When you can make this list longer.
  58. When you get the jokes on this list.
  59. When every girl/guy interested in you is in band.
  60. When you never wear jewelry or fingernail polish--you'd have to take it off for competitions anyway.
  61. When you know the National Anthem by heart and in more than one key.
  62. When your instrument is worth more than your car.
  63. When half the stuff in your room has the word "band" on it.
  64. When anything in your room says "band."
  65. When you know "Louie, Louie" and have a personal grudge against him.
  66. When you and all your friends are easily tagged as "band" when walking down the hall because you are all in a straight line and all in step.
  67. When you can think of more than one reason to stop by the band room on your way to class.
  68. When you can count on one hand your friends that are not in band.
  69. When you believe that the band sings better than the choir.
  70. When the band does sing better than the choir.
  71. When you get emotional thinking about your instrument being in the repair shop.
  72. When you are still reading this list.
  73. When riding a bus with no heat on your way to a competition is fun.
  74. When upon emptying your pockets you can find either a screw driver, drum key, water bottle, valve oil, slide grease, cork grease, etc.
  75. When you think parades are "F-U-N!"
  76. When you can get anywhere in 12 steps or less.
  77. When changing clothes on a bus is a normal occurrence.
  78. When you like the smell of your gloves.
  79. When you have learned how to wear more than six pairs of pants under your uniform and still not have any wrinkles.
  80. When you have reached the end of this list and then actually send it to other people!